Can I live without marriage?

Marriage is most important phase of our life. To whom we rely in this age of marriage apps for guidance? May be this community can help...
nalin
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 2:35 pm

Can I live without marriage?

Post by nalin » Sat Aug 11, 2018 3:51 pm

Hi guys,

I am in my mid 20s and live in Delhi. My family has been after my life to get married. But I have still not made up my mind.

I have seen my parents always fighting each other. Many friends of mine are also married and they really regret getting married. Honestly, I am little scared. I do not know if marriage will work for me. Any take on this ???

Snehil
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 2:54 pm

Re: Can I live without marriage?

Post by Snehil » Sat Aug 11, 2018 4:30 pm

Hi Nalin

I will answer this question in a non typical manner

7:00 pm in the middle of the traffic jam.
Heavy day.
Monthly deadlines.
Hectic work.
Exhausted.

8:00 pm in the room.
Lying on the bed.
No energy left to get up and make arrangements for dinner.
Had junk food.
Fell asleep.

Woke up at 11:30 pm.

Wanted to go back to sleep but can't.

Switched on the TV:
Commercials everywhere.

How to reduce your belly size in a week?

Reminded of how bad your presentation to the higher management went that day and the look your boss gave.

A beer in hand and sitting on the terrace and thinking:

You need,

Someone to talk to.
Someone to open up to.
Someone to get lost with.
Someone to share your love with.
Someone to look forward for.
Someone to spend your rest of the life with.


After all you are a normal guy who have emotional needs and so does a partner. It is just that you thought, not marrying would be cool and easy, because you don't have to take the burden of responsibility to raise the children or the fear of how bad your wife turns out to be.

Decide but decide wisely.

ritu
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 2:56 pm

Re: Can I live without marriage?

Post by ritu » Sun Aug 12, 2018 11:48 am

Short Answer: I think Marriage really is worth it. “They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” A marriage is just that.

Long Answer: My grandparents were married 65+ years. Although I did not have a particular liking for them and I barely met them 10 times in my life, I liked how they loved and cared about each other.

As a routine, they would wake up at 5 AM, freshen up and sit under the mango tree with their basket of fruits, tea, newspaper and radio. They would cut fruits and feed each other, read passages from their respective newspaper to each other, laugh at weird stuff and listen to the news/songs on the radio. Every single freaking day! Legend has it that they never fought or had a heated argument in all of their marriage.

My parents are married close to 35 years now. They are childhood sweethearts you can say, so they have known each other for the past 50 + years. I think if one of them died, the other would too.

Whenever they are together, I like how they sit on the swing every evening and talk about random stuff and watch the Sun set. More often than not they talk about me and my sister. Dad would be like - the daughter turned out okay, but our son, sigh! And then mom would say - Yeah I am worried about him. But he’s a good kid :)

About 10 years ago, I met this girl. She’s a bottle of pure happiness and bliss. Whenever I see her, I feel abundantly happy. When she talks it’s like music. When she’s around, everything else fades away. I guess that’s what love would feel like - It’s an inexplicable feeling of peace and calmness.

If we were married, she would be worth the world and more.

Marriage is like having a best friend for life. It’s totally worth it. You wake up to someone who puts a smile on your face. You help each other grow as an individual. You motivate each other, you have someone you can talk to about anything, plan on going to places with, you have someone to take care of you, life’s more full filling if you give back more, so you can always shower the other person with love and care, you learn to adapt and change for better, movies, dinners, travelling, sex, cuddling, and making cute babies. What’s not to like.

seema
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 2:55 pm

Re: Can I live without marriage?

Post by seema » Wed Aug 15, 2018 1:10 pm

My sister who is married explained through this:

*Me, worrying about my college admissions.*

My parents

“Don't worry. You did what you could do. Leave the rest to God.”

My friends

“I can help you with contacts of few seniors in that college. You can talk to them. That might help you.

My husband

We did all that we could do. Stop worrying, we have a plan B.”

We should visit the college once and talk to the faculty. That might help us.”

"My husband has been doing this subconsciously from the time we got engaged. I have had people who love me to bits, ever ready to help, and have been there for me during my bad times to cheer me up. But I think your spouse is the only person who will literally suffer what you're suffering because you are pretty much linked to each others lives in every aspect."

It is nice to have company. Marriage is worth it, provided you marry someone who complements you. 8-) 8-)

Teja
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 2:51 pm

Re: Can I live without marriage?

Post by Teja » Wed Aug 15, 2018 3:02 pm

Don't worry my friend..You are not alone. We saw married people, We saw singles, We saw Gays, lesbians, we saw Live in relationships who cares for one another.

Now we are seeing people like you , who enjoy things but not ready[can't think of] to take responsibilities.

The number is growing day by day. U can show all of your brothers and sisters out there as an example to your parents and society that you are not wrong and people like you are also living on earth.

Sorry to say this, but people like you are not useful to the society in any way.
but you have right to live.. so live your life and be yourself.

I feel , life should be meaningful. It becomes meaningful only when you are ready to take up responsibilities.

anurag
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 2:52 pm

Re: Can I live without marriage?

Post by anurag » Wed Aug 15, 2018 4:48 pm

I used to think,NO till i saw my grandmother suffering in her old age.Seeing her made me realize how bad can this situation be if her family could not be around.

One may say,having your current family is enough.I would say,your parents will leave you one day. Thats a sad fact.

Your siblings will have their own family.You never know how much you or their family will be able to adjust with each other. :cry: :cry:

There will be a day when you will be down with some disease and you will need someone to take care of you.If not for any other reason,then you need someone to make your life a bit easy and comfortable in your old age.

shobha
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 2:58 pm

Re: Can I live without marriage?

Post by shobha » Wed Aug 15, 2018 4:52 pm

Marriage is simply not worth it in India. There is huge luck factor involved.

And for a girl it brings additional burden in the form of n number of relatives who take the girl as some sort of personal slave who will not have any life of her own. :x :x

In case the girl is unlucky like my sister who got married to a guy hailing from village but working in city, it also means that she is stuck with a man who has city education and job but talibani mentality as far as woman are concerned. :( :(

nalin
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 2:35 pm

Re: Can I live without marriage?

Post by nalin » Thu Aug 16, 2018 8:16 am

Snehil wrote:
Sat Aug 11, 2018 4:30 pm

After all you are a normal guy who have emotional needs and so does a partner. It is just that you thought, not marrying would be cool and easy, because you don't have to take the burden of responsibility to raise the children or the fear of how bad your wife turns out to be.

Decide but decide wisely.
That was too good, Snehil...u put that very well...

nalin
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 2:35 pm

Re: Can I live without marriage?

Post by nalin » Thu Aug 16, 2018 8:21 am

seema wrote:
Wed Aug 15, 2018 1:10 pm

"My husband has been doing this subconsciously from the time we got engaged. I have had people who love me to bits, ever ready to help, and have been there for me during my bad times to cheer me up. But I think your spouse is the only person who will literally suffer what you're suffering because you are pretty much linked to each others lives in every aspect."

It is nice to have company. Marriage is worth it, provided you marry someone who complements you. 8-) 8-)
Very well said, but I am not sure if it is easy to find such a spouse...You are lucky to have one.... :D :D

nalin
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Aug 11, 2018 2:35 pm

Re: Can I live without marriage?

Post by nalin » Thu Aug 16, 2018 8:22 am

shobha wrote:
Wed Aug 15, 2018 4:52 pm
Marriage is simply not worth it in India. There is huge luck factor involved.

And for a girl it brings additional burden in the form of n number of relatives who take the girl as some sort of personal slave who will not have any life of her own. :x :x

In case the girl is unlucky like my sister who got married to a guy hailing from village but working in city, it also means that she is stuck with a man who has city education and job but talibani mentality as far as woman are concerned. :( :(
Hey Shobha, I never saw things from this angle. Indeed, it is very sad to see this... :( :(

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